I've always been really hard on myself. I'm not sure why but it got worse as I got older, and probably developed mental issues (I'm not diagnosed with anything as of yet). I know self-harming is bad, but its kind of a habit/coping mechanism I picked up within my last year of high school because my emotions kind of went haywire. I want to get help but at the same time I'm scared to and that is why I've never got it; my family already thinks I'm crazy too so I feel like going to a counselor
 redefines the fact that I am "crazy."
Oh boy, going to counseling does not define you as crazy! It’s a wonderful place to find peace. If your family is going to judge you for trying to help yourself, then do it privately. I think you might be on overload with emotions and don’t know how to constructively vent them. Anxiety medication helps you calm down inside so that the outside world doesn’t look so bad. When you find yourself thinking bad negative thoughts, try your hardest to catch yourself and then turn those thoughts around. You are your very own best friend!! Start talking nicely to yourself!! I must tell you this, though..you really have to try hard not to be hard on yourself. You will never be “this young” again. You should be out enjoying yourself. Yes, taking care of studies and then relaxing. If you feel you have too much school work, drop a course, you can always go back and take it again. You need to be selfish with yourself, take time for yourself. It sounds like you live too much in your head. That’s why I suggested counseling. It’s a great thing to be able to bounce your thoughts off of someone who knows how to deal with your issues. They’re trained, they’ve seen people with your issues before, they have tools for you to work with. I think it’s a great idea, so speak to a counselor at college if need be and go, sweetie. Life is too short to be all twisted up inside!! <3
did alanna finish in actual highschool or did she do night/online/partial
She went back during the day for her senior year and graduated with her class. :)